Friday, September 23, 2005

The Halloween Sound of Horror

A budget Halloween CD by Scarewear. This one sounds like it was thrown together on a cheap cassette 4-track. It freely samples various music bits from jazz to moody soundtracks and overlays growling, grunts and even samples from the classic Halloween record 'Sounds to Make You Shiver' AKA 'Horror Sounds of the Night'

Halloween Sound of Horror - Thriller (mp3)
This is the standout section from the one-track CD. It starts out with an overwrought "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!" and blasts into a cheese version of Thriller. Grunts and howls swirl about with violins and some freak-out psychedelic music.

Halloween Sound of Horror - Organ Grinding (mp3)
Stomping, door creaks, broken glass, growls and howls collaged with a spooky organ.

Saturday, September 17, 2005


Directed by Jed Johnson and produced by Andy Warhol, BAD revolves around Hazel Aiken (Carroll Baker), who pays the bills by operating an electrolysis service out of her home in addition to running an all female murder-for-hire service for the petty spites of emotional cripples.

from Rotten Tomatoes:

When Hazel unwillingly takes in her first male charge, L.T. (Perry King), her well established balance is upturned. As the various ladies carry out their gruesome tasks (killing a dog, maiming a gas station attendant) Johnson trains the camera as much on the superbly bizarre mannerisms and gestures of the actors as on their actual crimes, creating a vastly amusing if slightly disturbing cast of characters. When L.T. finally gets his assignment, to kill an unwanted autistic child, he becomes paralyzed by memories of his own abused youth. Hazel, constantly annoyed by her untrustworthy girls, her electrolysis clients, her useless daughter-in-law and whiny grandson and the unruly cop who she pays protection to, finally comes unglued in a bizarre and outrageous climax befitting Warhol's legacy.

BAD - Old Bags Look Bad In Shorts (mp3)

A hilarious monologue from Factory staple, Brigid Berlin. She had walked into a bar wearing her shorts and overheard the guy across the street say "I can't wait until summer is over because old bags look so bad in shorts." For revenge she hires two of Hazel's hit-girls to kill the guy's dog "..and you gotta do it can't be something painless or ouchless."

Track down "Pie in the Sky: The Brigid Berlin Story" a movie which documents her strange personality, her wealthy upbringing as the daughter of the Hearst empire chairman and her obsession with key-lime pie.

BAD - You Fucking Irish Rat Cocksucker (mp3)
Another clip showcasing her talents, fighting with the guy across the street.

BAD - Arousal Problems (mp3)
BAD - Smoking (mp3)

Susan Tyrell plays Hazel's daughter-in-law, a frumpy whining woman who is always sitting at the kitchen table bouncing her mewling baby on her knee while smoking a cigarrette or drinking soda.

Starring in Fat City and Forbidden Zone, Susan Tyrell never got the recognition she deserved. She is a master of gesture and facial expression. She recently lost both her legs from a rare blood disease. (she wrote the song "Witch's Egg" for Forbidden Zone, the last line of which is " a queen with no legs.") I love Susan Tyrell.

BAD - Baby Thrown Out Window (mp3)

Bad features a couple memorable and ridiculous killing scenes, one of which involves a woman who hires one of Hazel's girls to kill her baby. While on the phone with her lover, who is complaining about the high price of the hit-girl, the woman becomes frustrated and does the job herself. The baby splatters on the sidewalk and spurts a copious amount of blood on a woman walking by. A dog sniffs the corpse. A mother tells her son, "That's what I'm going to do to you if you don't SHUT UP!"
Unfortunately this overlooked gem has not been released on DVD and all of these clips were ripped from a fuzzy buzzy VHS copy.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Ass Toast Nation

This is an odd mystery record that I found in the free pile at Reckless Records in Chicago years ago...there was a huge stack of them. I could not pass up the ridiculous arbitrary cover art that featured a Frank Frazetta painting with pictures of Asian guys in headphones on the side and a random photo on the back cover of some dudes hanging out drinking 7UP and Budweiser with a chick. Click on the image for a full size version...I have stared at this cover for hours.
There is not much information on this record except for a small slip of paper inside, which provides only gibberish and a little drawing of a woman spreading her legs open on a slice of toast. I am assuming this is a split LP with A Calvacade Of Thugs and Orgasmo A.F.U. They both play a really no-fi hip hop interspersed with some bad rock songs.

A Calvacade of Thug's "Ass Toast Nation" has some great rhymes like "YO! I really know how to love a can, I can strip the base of my dick with a rubber band. Don't get me wrong, I like you chicks, now spread your tits to give me a place to shit". Another one of their songs, "Sevrock" features some pretty good rapping and a great squonking sax. The records they sample are extremely fucked up with a lot of surface noise. I am not sure if this record was a prank or not...but a copy has been moldering in the Experimental bin at Reckless for years now.

A Calvacade of Thugs - Ass Toast Nation (mp3)

A Calvacade of Thugs - Sevrock (mp3)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Enzypan! Spazmical!

A couple of 78 rpm records released by Norgine Laboratories which features The Recorded Detail Man who extols the virtues of cryptic sounding gastro-intestinal and constipation medications.
These records were promotional and were meant to be listened by a doctor in the comfort of his home, with a flip side of soothing classical music. On Spazmical, The Recoded Detail Man rattles through a barrage of highly detailed seemingly scientific virtues punctuated by tongue-twisting alliteration.

"spazmical bids fare to remove laxation from deplorabe self treatment, back to ethical channels, right into the doctor's hands."


Norgine Labs - Enzypan (mp3) via 365 Days Project

Norgine Labs - Spazmical (mp3)


oh, if you care, I'm back...posts will be more frequent!