Saturday, September 17, 2005

BAD


Directed by Jed Johnson and produced by Andy Warhol, BAD revolves around Hazel Aiken (Carroll Baker), who pays the bills by operating an electrolysis service out of her home in addition to running an all female murder-for-hire service for the petty spites of emotional cripples.

from Rotten Tomatoes:

When Hazel unwillingly takes in her first male charge, L.T. (Perry King), her well established balance is upturned. As the various ladies carry out their gruesome tasks (killing a dog, maiming a gas station attendant) Johnson trains the camera as much on the superbly bizarre mannerisms and gestures of the actors as on their actual crimes, creating a vastly amusing if slightly disturbing cast of characters. When L.T. finally gets his assignment, to kill an unwanted autistic child, he becomes paralyzed by memories of his own abused youth. Hazel, constantly annoyed by her untrustworthy girls, her electrolysis clients, her useless daughter-in-law and whiny grandson and the unruly cop who she pays protection to, finally comes unglued in a bizarre and outrageous climax befitting Warhol's legacy.


BAD - Old Bags Look Bad In Shorts (mp3)

A hilarious monologue from Factory staple, Brigid Berlin. She had walked into a bar wearing her shorts and overheard the guy across the street say "I can't wait until summer is over because old bags look so bad in shorts." For revenge she hires two of Hazel's hit-girls to kill the guy's dog "..and you gotta do it viciously...it can't be something painless or ouchless."

Track down "Pie in the Sky: The Brigid Berlin Story" a movie which documents her strange personality, her wealthy upbringing as the daughter of the Hearst empire chairman and her obsession with key-lime pie.

BAD - You Fucking Irish Rat Cocksucker (mp3)
Another clip showcasing her talents, fighting with the guy across the street.


BAD - Arousal Problems (mp3)
BAD - Smoking (mp3)

Susan Tyrell plays Hazel's daughter-in-law, a frumpy whining woman who is always sitting at the kitchen table bouncing her mewling baby on her knee while smoking a cigarrette or drinking soda.

Starring in Fat City and Forbidden Zone, Susan Tyrell never got the recognition she deserved. She is a master of gesture and facial expression. She recently lost both her legs from a rare blood disease. (she wrote the song "Witch's Egg" for Forbidden Zone, the last line of which is "...like a queen with no legs.") I love Susan Tyrell.

BAD - Baby Thrown Out Window (mp3)

Bad features a couple memorable and ridiculous killing scenes, one of which involves a woman who hires one of Hazel's girls to kill her baby. While on the phone with her lover, who is complaining about the high price of the hit-girl, the woman becomes frustrated and does the job herself. The baby splatters on the sidewalk and spurts a copious amount of blood on a woman walking by. A dog sniffs the corpse. A mother tells her son, "That's what I'm going to do to you if you don't SHUT UP!"
Unfortunately this overlooked gem has not been released on DVD and all of these clips were ripped from a fuzzy buzzy VHS copy.

5 Comments:

Blogger Rixk said...

This movie is one of my favorites. What a misunderstood gem. "You should buy yourself one of those plastic suits to take the pounds off, and keep your dirty smell inside." Hot chicks, nihilism and hilarity. Where's the goddamn DVD already?

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This movie is one of my favorites. What a misunderstood gem. "You should buy yourself one of those plastic suits to take

4:50 PM  
Blogger Fatty Jubbo said...

that's one of my favorite quotes in the movie.

you summed it up perfectly...and jesus, the girls! especially those sisters.

11:29 PM  
Blogger Fatty Jubbo said...

and...uh...whoah! I just reread this.

sorry for the extremely shoddy writing,.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Chardman said...

You are godlike for not only posting about BAD, but for offering some of it's priceless dialog for download.
Michael Wheldon of Psychotronic Video magazine says that Jed Johnson died on TWA 800, the 747 that exploded off the East coast.
My then girlfriend and I used to quote that movie often. I recently dug it up and watched it again, completely forgetting about the baby out the window scene. WOW!
I read a book about Warhol and in it it said that BAD was camp Warhol's attempt to outdo John Waters, who they felt was stealing their thunder, movie-wise.
Thanks for posting this!

4:34 PM  

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