Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Teddy & the Frat Girls AKA Sheer Smegma

A truly odd record from the early eighties. Complete desperate brain damage from these four Floridians who call themselves Cookie Mold, Fish, Spam Ax & Joesaphine Dupont. Originally released as a 7" under the name Sheer Smegma in 1981, Alternative Tentacles rereleased it as a 12" EP under the name Teddy & the Frat Girls. It's an odd headscratcher of a record in AT's catolog...sadly now deleted.

This was one of the first weird records I bought when I was 15. With the lyrics printed on the back of the sleeve, I could not pass this up:

Alophen Baby (memorized after all these years!)

some people like ass
some people like tit
but nothing gets me going
like liquid shit
my shit floats
it floats right to the top
I wanna shit my life away
I never wanna stop

Alophen Baby
My hearts a toilet brush,
Alophen Baby,
I cant wait until I flush

You think I'm kidding?
well, I'm no phony
I like what's in my ass
to ooze out bologna
doesn't matter what I eat
I'm not that picky
just as long as when I shit
it's gooey soft & icky!


When I got home and put the record on, I was floored by the alien sound. Imagine a lesbian Shaggs playing one chord while a weasel screaches as it's head is bashed in with a club while being used as a drum...and a really odd backwoods accent for no explainable reason.

The only thing I know about this band, from what someone told me years ago, is that they were a bunch of junkies and the singer briefly dated Mark Mothersbaugh. Don 't know if this is true. Please fill me in if you know any info.

Teddy & the Frat Girls - Alophen Baby Mp3
Teddy & the Frat Girls - I Wanna Be a Man Mp3
Teddy & the Frat Girls - The Egg Man Don't Cometh Mp3

Soft Pink Truth recently released an album of electro covers which features Teddy & the Frat Girls' "I Owe it to the Girls" among songs by Nervous Gender, Rudimentary Peni and Crass.


Blogger Scott Soriano said...

One of the all time classic fucked up punk records of all time!!!! I hope people check those samples

4:46 PM  
Anonymous pygmy said...

I had the "Alophen Baby" song on a mix tape that someone made me years ago. Never knew who it was by, but I loved it. The mix tape now sounds like it's being played under 12 feet of cellophane and mud, so that's awesome you had it.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Fatty Jubbo said...

that makes me remember...

When I was 12 or so, we had some silly school project to write a pen pal- it was something that schools across the country were doing at the time. I corrosponded with this girl for a couple letters before we both lost interest.

a year or so later I decided to write her and include an audio cassette on which I spoke, rather that write, about the goings on in my pointless life. It was on a shitty dollar store cassete, recorded with a shitty boombox...I sounded awful on playback. Well, I interspersed the speaking with song I liked at the time- one of the being Teddy & The Frat Girl's Alophen Baby.

She never wrote back.

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look up Orlando band Jeanie and the Tits. They covered this record in it's entirety starting late 2005. Dead ringers.

7:51 PM  
Blogger The Creeping Cruds said...

I knew Cookie back in West Palm Beach and I got my copy of this EP directly from her.
She was not living well and I'd be surprised if she is still around. So weird to come across this...

10:58 PM  

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