Saturday, January 29, 2005


When I was in high school, our art class went to Rutgers for the state high school art competition. My group got lost somewhere on campus and we were blindly trying to find our way back to the bus. A woman stopped in her mini-van and we asked her for directions. I immediately sensed something was off. She had a strange vacant birdlike glaze to her eyes and she was holding some pamphlets. She completely ignored our pleas for directions and handed us her tracts, "You must come." OUR LADY OF THE ROSES! MARY HELP OF MOTHERS...a huge picture of the virgin mary with a crown, some uplifting spiritual gibberish...this was a keeper! but the bus was going to leave without us and I couldn't press her further.

A few years later in Chicago I stumbled across a very strange religious radio show, later realizing it was the same cult featured on the tract. I was obsessed with this show and would record it every week...a good reason to wake up at 6:30 AM! It was the usual fanatical rambling, but what made it truly strange was Miss Veronica Luekan- a mush-mouthed thick New York accented dessimated old crotch that Jesus and the Virgin Mary spoke through. She was dead by the time I started listening, and they would play her old sermons held out in the middle of some godforsaken shithole like Bayside, Queens. Funny thing is that you really can't tell who is speaking through Veronica at any given moment, so she sounds even more like a schizophenic lunatic. (that's the pretty lady up top)

The radio show originated from Michigan and was hosted by "Gary", a lilted voiced weirdo with the patronizing tone of a kindegarten teacher. He would ramble on against the usual suspects: hollywood, clinton, homosexuality, the media, etc etc. and would then introduce the the weekly archived sermon from Veronica Luekan. Afterwards, Veronica's former secretary, Mrs. Ann Furgusen would recount some inane tale involving the late Veronica Luekan, sometimes spicing it up with stories about infighting politics in the ministry or how some severely sick person was miraculously cured by rubbing rose petals on their body.


Our Lady of the Roses also has an odd obsession with something they call "The Fiery Ball of Redemption" Supposedly Jesus warns Our Lady followers by sticking wierd globes of light in photographs taken at the vigils. These are photos are very laughable, obviously being thumbs caught in the picture frame or slow exposures of moving lights. BUT! According to the official Our Lady of The Roses website...

"These miraculous pictures seem to defy all scientific analysis. Pictures which have been submitted to the Polaroid Company have been returned with the comment that, "This company cannot offer any explanation concerning the photographs and the symbols shown in them.". They were especially baffled by the "JACINTA 1972" photograph - which is so unique and so unexplainable that experts can only shake their heads in wonder...

My favorite show, an excerpt featured here, is when Veronica tells a story about going to the hospital and having to take off her scapular, crucifix and St. Benedict's medal. It's quite a ride! I would have to say this is one of the most demented recordings I have ever heard. If you listen closely, you can hear Veronica's dentures chattering.

Veronica Leukan, Our Lady of The Roses...DOG BISCUITS! MP3


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this one. I've downloaded a few of those radio shows, and they are very amusing. Thanks for that. I love the pictures on there as well. Loads of ordinary pictures of light-lines caused by jiggled cameras, and they are convinced they are pictures of miraculous rosaries floating in the air. Oh, to live life with such a moronic sense of the mysterious.

4:54 AM  

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